ONLY OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES
A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later:
"DA-ad..." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you
bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later:
"Da-aaaad..."
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to
spank you!!"
Five minutes later...
"Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me,
can you bring me a drink of water?"
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
finally asked him,
"How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said,
"Well, I'll just run in and out and in
and out ???and keep slamming the
door until St. Peter says 'For Heaven's
sake, Jimmy, ?come in or stay out!"
One summer evening during a violent
thunderstorm a mother was tucking her
small boy into bed.
She was about to turn off the light
when he asked with a tremor in his voice,
"Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a
reassuring hug. I can't, dear," she said.
I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
Little voice: "The big sissy."
A mother took her three-year-old
daughter to church for the first time.
The church lights were lowered, and then the
choir came down the aisle, carrying
lighted candles. All was quiet
until the little one started to sing
in a loud voice, "Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you..."
It was that time during the Sunday
morning service for "the children's
sermon," ?and all the children were
invited to come forward.? One little
girl was wearing a particularly
pretty dress and, as she sat down,
the pastor leaned over and said to her,
"That? is a very pretty dress.Is it your
Easter dress?"? The little girl replied,
directly into the pastor's clip-on
microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says
it's a bitch to iron."
Finding one of his students making
faces at others on the playground,
Mr. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.
Smiling kindly, the Sunday School teacher
said, "Bobby, when I was a child
I was told that if I made
ugly faces, it would freeze and
I would stay like that." Bobby looked
up and replied, "Well, Mr. Smith,
you can't say you weren't warned."
